How to choose a lodger: questions, references and Right to Rent checks

1. The first message

Before you arrange anything, reply with the basics: the rent and what it covers, the deposit, when the room's free, and who already lives there. People who aren't a fit tend to drop out at this stage, which saves you both a wasted viewing. Notice whether their reply answers what you asked, or just asks when they can move in.

2. A short call

Ten minutes on the phone or a video call tells you more than a long thread of messages. Ask what they do, why they're moving, and how long they're hoping to stay. If someone won't talk before a viewing, that's worth noting.

3. The viewing, and what to ask

Show them the room and the shared spaces, then sit down and talk. Questions that tend to bring out a real answer:

• "What does a normal weekday look like for you?"
• "Do you work from home, and if so, where would you set up?"
• "How do you like a kitchen left at night?"
• "How often do you have friends or a partner over, and do they stay the night?"
• "How would you want to split bills, and what would you do if one went up?"
• "If something I did annoyed you, how would you bring it up?"

There aren't right answers. You're looking for someone whose answers sit comfortably with how you live.

4. References

Ask for one or two, and follow them up. Gov.uk suggests doing this before you sign anything. A previous landlord is usually the most useful. A short message is enough:

On Among Our People, applicants can attach references, such as a landlord's letter or proof of income, and you can make them a requirement for your room.

5. The checks

In England you must check that anyone 18 or over moving in has the right to rent here, and that includes lodgers. For British and Irish citizens, check their original passport or other document with them present, or use a registered identity checking service. Most other people will give you a share code. You enter it on gov.uk's online "view a tenant's right to rent" service, then save or print the result. Either way, record the date, and keep the record while they live with you and for a year afterwards.

On money, keep it proportionate. The question is whether the rent is affordable, not whether they have a particular kind of job. Payslips, a pension, benefits, a student loan, self-employed accounts or savings can all show it. Ask for what fits their situation, not everything at once.

6. What our ID badge does and doesn't tell you

Members who earn the ID-verified badge on Among Our People have passed a document and selfie check. That confirms the person is who they say they are. It doesn't tell you whether they're tidy, reliable with rent or easy to live with. That's what the conversation and the references are for.

7. The deposit and the agreement

A deposit is capped at five weeks' rent, and a holding deposit at one week's, and those limits apply to lodgers too. A lodger's deposit doesn't have to go into a protection scheme, though, so give a receipt and agree in writing what could come out of it. Then put the arrangement in a short written agreement: the rent, what's shared, the notice each of you gives, and the house basics. Our guides on taking a deposit and the paperwork for taking in a lodger go into both.

8. It's your home, so the choice is yours

Because you'd be sharing your home, the law gives you a lot of freedom to choose who feels right. The firm line is race: you can't turn someone down because of it, even in your own home (Citizens Advice). Beyond that, comfort and fit are fair reasons, and for many of us that's the point. You want someone you can be yourself around. So if your gut says yes, that counts, and if it says not quite, listen to that too.